Male Stereotypes and Male Rape

This topic will be covered again in the future with fun things like statistics and maths and legal definitions and sources. But for now, I'm going to be talking about some non-quantifiable aspects that bother me. I will be using some "grown up" words so... yeah.

We all know that men can rape women. We know that men can rape men. What people don't seem to understand is that women can rape men - not just boys, grown up men. They can also rape women.

Women can rape. I know, it's a shocker given the way that some people would like to act like women have only ever been the victims of and never the perpetrators of injustice. But, honestly, I feel that if equality of any sort is to be achieved in this world, it has to be done by acknowledging that there isn't a race, gender, orientation, etc that is completely "saintly" or completely "demonic".

But moving on from there.

I want to talk about the perceptions of female-on-male rape, and how the male stereotypes effect it.

What are some well known male stereotypes? Well, the first ones that come to mind are that men are strong, men are violent, and that men are constantly horny and ready for sex. We can see how this lends itself to the idea that men are rapists - it also lends itself to the idea that men are too strong to get raped and that they always welcome sex so, not rape.

I hate the "men are strong" one. Not all men are strong. Some girls are stronger. And no matter how strong a guy is, he'll react the same way as a girl to a date-rape drug. So, really, it's completely irrelevant to the idea of rape.

Now for the idea that men are always horny and ready for sex. Let's assume for one moment that this is true. Then why don't guys sleep with everything? Why do they reject some girls? Why don't they all use prostitutes? Why don't straight guys take sex offered by gay men? Why don't gay men take sex offered by straight girls? It's all "sex", right?

The fact is, even if men are horny all the time, they exercise some control and choice over who they have sex with - that is, they, like women, have the right to CHOOSE who they have sex with.


And now for the biggest player in this stereotype: the penis. As most of us know, the penis gets erect when the male is aroused; however erections can also occur as a result of fear, panic, and drugs. Oh, and let's remember that it gets erect due to blood flow - so a guy could be as flaccid as anything but if the rapist were to "encourage" the blood flow, we'd have an erection present.

But I don't want to address those - I want to talk about when the guy is aroused. When he really did find his rapist attractive, before she attacked him.

How many times have we heard or read about male-on-female rapists who rationalize that his victim "wanted it"? It was only a couple of centuries ago that it was "accepted knowledge" that a woman could not have been raped if she got pregnant since pregnancy was believed to be the result of enjoyable sex and rape was not enjoyable. Basically, "if she orgasmed, she wasn't raped". Or, as Fifty Shades of Fucked Up said "you were wet, you wanted it".

It case you didn't know, an orgasm is the result of nerve endings being stimulated. So it has nothing to do with the willingness of the participants. Actually, this has been recognized as a reason why some rape victims don't report their rapists - their body betrayed them and they feel dirty and low.

But this is the same logic applied to male rape victims. "He had an erection, he must have been willing", "He went to her house, he must have been willing", "He ejaculated, he must have" - it keeps on going on.

How come it's okay for women to be attracted to a man but not want to sleep with him? Because that's all a guy's erection says - he's attracted. Maybe he's thinking about having sex with her. But that doesn't mean he wants to at that moment, if ever.

How come the media says it's okay for a woman to change her mind, but a man is apparently possessed by the "boner werewolf" is contracted to have sex by its presence?

The fact is, there is no bloody difference here. A man and a woman have the rights to be attracted to someone but not have sex with them if they choose. I'm sick to death of the idea that a man's brain is directly wired to his penis.

Because when a 'normal' person says "He had an erection - he must have been willing", it's the same as a woman's rapist saying "she wanted it".

And because, "forced sex" is rape.