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29 May 2012

A Rant About Personal Rubbish (feel free to ignore)

Okay... time to shout at cyberspace because if I don't I think I may actually hit someone. Multiple times. In the face. With a hammer.

Now, I won't use names... because I'm a grown-up so I should be above name dropping.

Now, my younger sister is a nice girl. Yeah, she has a temper, is flirty, and can be extremely stubborn. But she's a good person. She helps her friends, she stands up for them, she's kind, and a lot of other nice things. However, there is one friend who has been a consistent jackass to her and is the ONLY person I know who's insults have actually made her cry. We'll call him... J. Anyway, J has a long list of indiscretions which in my opinion warranted dropping him like a bad joke ages ago. These include: blatantly using my sister to get answers for homework, regularly insulting her in front of her other friends (not "ha ha friendly ribbing" insults - actual malicious ones), attempting to instigate a friends-with-benefits relationship with her while in a monogamous relationship, and a few other things. However, I wish to rant about two major issues.

Anyway, last year she got a crush on one of her friends and felt safe in telling one of her other friends this. The friend she told is the person I would like to hit. You see, she asked this friend if he could subtly find out if the first friend had similar feelings towards her. At the time he then reported back a little later saying that the friend did not reciprocate... while laughing.

It was recently found that he didn't "subtly" find out - he told the friend that she had a crush on him and asked. Now, I suppose that's forgivable, but the laughing while hurting my sister's feelings? Not so much.

Especially... bad when his girlfriend admitted that he told her about this and they both had a good laugh about it. She was apparently proud of this.

Next issue. the girlfriend, J, and my sister share a mutual friend, T, who loves trains. So my sister came up with the idea to order him in a custom-made train from England with his name on it for his birthday. However, this would be expensive so she gathered a few of T's friends to pay for it - only $33 each. It was a Facebook arrangement so there were some people she didn't know personally - but that was okay, because J and his GF did! Right? Despite the fact that they only had to contact 2 of the 8 people involved in the event they didn't do it - they were busy. Now... my sister attends college with them  - she knew their classes and their jobs and exactly how much free time they had. Now, I'm not saying that they should have dropped everything to get this - but they had 3 weeks to arrange 15 minutes to collect money from 2 people. Not exactly difficult. My sister ended up getting it done herself so that she could order in the train.

They insisted on a number of things - such as getting my sister's bank details. No. Just... no. There is such a thing called privacy and having a person's bank details is a serious thing. Not to mention them knowing that there was no way in Hell that my mum would let that happen.

Several delays on the train company's behalf occurred and the price changed - because of the Pound/Dollar exchange rate. The increase was somewhere between $50 and $80 but my sister covered the difference - she wasn't gonna go and track down a few dollars from each person. Note: this was not a detail she disclosed to T, but she did tell it to J and GF, saying that it was okay.

Now, the train finally arrives so it has to be given to T. T's birthday was in April, which was also when he was informed about the gift by the whole group. It is now basically June. So maybe, just maybe, we want to get the present to him as soon as possible? Sister tries to get J and a few others around to be there for the "giving of the gift". However after one botched chance, sister informs them that as soon as sees T he will be given the gift. I have a Facebook page full of "Okay - that'd be great :)" in front of me to prove that pretty much everyone agreed. Miss GF didn't see until after it occurred (today), so she then promptly sent my sister an abusive message (where she revealed that she and J laughed it up earlier). I would be understanding of this, if not for the following.

The GF has declared herself T's "best friend" - not that I say "declared". Well, I would hardly call someone T's best friend if they not only admitted that "If J wasn't chipping in [she] wouldn't have even bothered". She often complained about how inconvenient the entire event was for her despite the fact that she was only asked to do one thing which ended up being done by my sister anyway.

As I see it, she just wanted to take credit. Also having met her more than a few times, by "take credit" I mean take ALL the credit. I will mention that my sister was not the only person present at the "gift giving".

Anyway in this conversation somehow culminated in the GF calling my sister a coward. Now, I've read the conversation about... 5 times already and I only see one train of thought that could have lead to it (that being afraid to confess about having a crush - then again, it was a crush on one of her best friends so a degree of awkwardness can be expected) but it bore no relevance whatsoever on the whole train thing. This GF has also often accused my sister of being cruel to J - the guy who she helps with his homework regularly, listens to him bitching about GF, hangs out with (for some god-unknown reason), and you know, is a friend to.

Their friendship is over, and I'm fine with that - J treats a lot of his friends like shit and it's about time one of them walked away. What annoys me the most though is that while my sister is friends with a lot of people, none of them have been able to do more than give sympathetic hugs at best or tell her that she's being extreme at worst. These people who are only Facebook friends with J and the GF - as in, "I friended you and invited you because you are friends with so-and-so". These people who have seen J treat my sister like shit and who she has actually cried to them about.

Anyway, this rant is done... it's just...

Is this how people treat friends?

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